There’s just no point in going on, said the President to his peers
We’ve tried real hard to make the club work, for almost 24 years
But recently the spelling bee and the bake sale both bombed
Interest has declined, it’s a sign of the times, I’m thinking we should just move on
Because we’ve organized and volunteered and sponsored ‘til we’re blue
We’ve pledged and baked, marched and donated, raised and patronized too
But I’m calling it quits, I’m tired of it, this perpetual goodwill race
Man I’ve looked on the bright side for so damn long, I’ve got a sunburn on my face
Somewhere along the way we lost our happy go lucky smiles
That certain savoir faire that kept our chins up proud and high
My horse shoe and my rabbit’s foot have worn down to the nub
I’m sorry friends, this will be the last meeting
Of the Quakertown Optimist Club
Then the Secretary said attendance has fallen, at the Wednesday bowling league
Last week it was just my wife and her sister, my brother-in-law and me
Mrs. Douglas stood and said well I’m sorry, but those bowling shoes hurt my feet
Then she excused herself owing to a previous engagement with a program on her TV
It was Mr. Baker moved to adjourn the meeting, said his wife was home sick in bed
And he reported he hadn’t been ill in years, but suddenly felt a little light headed
And then similar complaints slowly arose from every optimist in that room
Of backaches, and bunions, and inconsiderate off-spring
And inevitable, impending, doom
Somewhere along the way we lost our happy go lucky smiles
That certain savoir faire that kept our chins up proud and high
My horse shoe and my rabbit’s foot have worn down to the nub
I’m sorry friends, this will be the last meeting
Of the Quakertown Optimist Club
The number you have reached is no longer in service
At the Quakertown Optimist Club
©2006 Jason Wilber/Everyday Rain Music BMI
From the album Lazy Afternoon
